Last week I had two good days of running, spending about 15-20 minutes slowly jogging through the neighborhood. It’s been wonderful to have absolutely no care in the world in regards to my pace, I’m simply ecstatic to be running again. This week I hit the pavement three times, extending my time to 20 minutes on each run.

The battle of will continues to be whether or not I actually head outside for the run itself. After nine months of inactivity the desire to actually run has subsided. Physically, it’s difficult. I have lost muscle tone, I’m not nearly as strong as I was a year ago, and my breathing is labored. On the other hand, I miss my private time on the trails immensely, I also miss my friends and all of the laughs and conversations we shared. I miss having an outlet other than sitting in front of the TV or drinking beer with my neighbors. Being outside in the woods has always been a huge part of my life and a big part of my self-identity. I feel as if a piece of me is missing.

I had a minor setback last weekend which I am almost recovered from, I think. It has been so difficult not being able to do the simple tasks I once could do. While I certainly didn’t mind my inability to shovel snow this winter or rake leaves last fall, there are some things around the house and yard that must be done and the fact that I can’t do them is more than frustrating. It is almost depressing. Last weekend I grew so tired and disgusted with the brick door step falling apart, I began pulling it apart and set about resetting it. As I grew tired the squats turned into bending over, and more and more strain on my back and spine. My bulging disc grew irritated and has been screaming at me ever since. The weirdest thing is the fact that when I’m running I feel good. I don’t feel the pain. And I am working on forefoot landing in my minimalist shoes, using the rubber band effect of my achilles tendon to propel me forward. My feet will probably get stronger because of this, a definite advantage of attempting minimalist running from the beginning versus diving right in during high mileage training.

As each week drags on I grow nearer and nearer to actually scheduling that neurosurgeon consult. Undoubtedly, once the surgery is over with I’ll beat myself up over why I didn’t do it sooner. I’ll just need to remind myself that I tried every other avenue (therapy, medication, time) prior to taking the knife.

Until then I will continue to log whatever time I can on my feet.

I miss the trails.

Saturday morning I woke up super early to get to the expo and get ready for the 5,000 runners along with their family members and friends who would be picking up their race bibs and shirts that day. Last year I had successfully petitioned for women’s sized shirts, a first for this race, since, as I argued, we had proportionately more women than men who ran this race each year. 60% of our runners are women. There were many positive remarks about the shirts this year. It’s little things like that which can make or break a race.

After breaking down the expo I had enough time to change and head over to the local restaurant where the evening’s pasta dinner would be taking place. We hired Kathrine Switzer to speak and she gave one of the best speeches we have ever had at our dinner. Prior to dinner I was able to catch up with my TRY Chips friends whom I wished lived much closer than they do. Can’t wait for them to come to town for Quadzilla in July!

Sunday morning I was up bright and early again, this time to manage the water stop for the 5k race. I had all of the water, table, cups, etc. in my truck and waited patiently for my volunteers to arrive, though they were a little late and nearly gave me a panic. It all worked out. This year, unlike last year when I arrived at the finish line only moments before Luke Watson finished the race in 1hr 10 minutes, I arrived at the finish line with plenty of time to spare. Tyler McCandless finished this year’s race in 1:09:22 which is incredible since he ran the 10k open men’s race at the Penn Relays on Thursday night.

It’s amazing being able to be at the finish line with my camera and snapping shots of everyone finishing their race. Next year I’d like to get out on the course with my camera instead of missing that because of my water stop duties. Within 3 1/2 hours we had everything cleaned up and I gave Kathrine Switzer and Cathy Troisi a ride back to their hotel and said my goodbyes before heading down to the Road Runner clubhouse to unload the trucks with all of our race equipment and help schlep it up to the attic until next year. Unless you have ever helped behind the scenes, people really have no idea how much work it is to put on a race. Our race hosts 5,000 runners. I can’t imagine something bigger. By 4:00 pm we all finally settled down with pizza and beer, feet up and lounged before calling it a night, until next year.

So, if I didn’t respond to emails or phone calls on Monday, I’m sorry. I had to hit the road running as soon as I woke up, getting the kids on the bus and working all day at my day job, then head off to an evening meeting for my class reunion. Not sure things will ever slow down.

Thankfully, all of those runners on Saturday breathed some motivation into me. I woke up early today and hit the roads for a brief 20 minute jog which is about all I can handle at the moment.